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Ways out of the recession

Posted by | Evil Kristos | May 4, 2009 | 5 Comments

Where the fearless leaders of our beloved Ireland introduce higher and higher taxes on cigarettes and punish the poor smokers and the even poorer tobacco industry, our comrades in China went down a different avenue. As we learned today, public workers in the district Gong’an (province Hubei) were ordered to smoke 230.000 packs of cigarettes per year to help the local tobacco industry. It may sound insane but it’s true.

The most astonishing part in this farce is that the public servants will be fined should they fail this target. Since this scheme was introduced to support the local tobacco industry they can’t even choose what they smoke. They have to go for the local brands. That is a brilliant idea don’t you agree?

Why don’t we try to learn from this example? There is no doubt that we are in the middle of a major crisis. The recession hit us a lot worse than other countries so I do believe we should respond with rather drastic measures. Rather than cutting child support and cancelling the only busses that actually make a profit – and please don’t tell me that the night links that are now cancelled during the week did not make money – we should be a little more productive. Just cutting everything, saving here and there and putting up taxes doesn’t do any good for anyone. It makes things worse and it is depressing. We need a positive attitude! Why not introduce a incentive to simply consume more and save our economy that way?

Ze Germans did it with cars and the Chinese with cigarettes. What could we do? Ireland for all I know doesn’t produce that many goods. Let me think about it. What springs to mind – and I hate to say that – Ireland is a well known producer of tasty and refreshing beverages.

How about we introduce s scheme where public servants and in fact all patriotic Irish are forced to consume at least 5 pints of either Guinness, Beamish or Bulmers a day?

The breweries make money, the pubs make money, needless to say the tax man not only makes money but a small fortune … thinking about it; it is a win-win situation for everyone. From my experience you don’t exactly have to twist people’s arms to get them going to the pub, it is entertaining and by the time we all sober up the crisis might be over. I like my idea.

It makes you wonder why I wasn’t made minister of finance. I certainly couldn’t do much worse than the guys who ran this office so far.


5 Responses to “Ways out of the recession”

  1. admin
    May 6th, 2009 @ 14:03

    Apparently the central government has since forced the district leaders to abandon their plans with the compulsory smoking for public workers. This should not stop us to drink our way out of the recession.

  2. JD
    May 9th, 2009 @ 11:35

    I’m guessing it certainly won’t stop *you* from drinking your way out of the recession 😉

  3. Kristos
    May 9th, 2009 @ 17:44

    What can I say? I am a true patriot!

  4. | body detox
    August 2nd, 2009 @ 02:28

    the economic recession has been pretty hard on us. there is some good progress on the economy this year. i just hope that the economy will continue to recover in the following months and years.

  5. Blogspot @ Head-over-Heels » Blog Archive » Budget 2010 – About that …
    December 12th, 2009 @ 14:42

    […] for the budget; I’m glad you followed my lead. We will drink our way out of the recession! Share and […]

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