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Cliffs of Moher “simplify” admission charges


Posted by | Evil Kristos | July 2, 2010 | No Comments

The Cliffs of Moher are magnificent. They are up to 214 metres high and range for almost 8 kilometres. What a view, what a spectacle. Not such a long time ago I would have considered them one of the most beautiful spots in all Ireland. And not just me; people from all over the world loved and admired the unspoiled natural beauty that was the Cliffs. It seemed forgotten by man and time and quite frankly this total disregard for such a major landmark was part of its charm. It elevated the Cliffs above all the other sites in the country. It gave them a touch of “only in Ireland”.

This eventually came to the attention of Clare County Council and it made them furious. People are admiring a bit of untouched nature in County Clare? And they are not even being charged for it? Impossible! Outrageous! Where would Ireland be if people would just love it for what it was? It was time to take action.

The first step was simple; they charged for parking at the site. It doesn’t cost a thing and people can’t do anything about it. What are they going to do? Walk? And since it is a magnificent site the parking fees had got to be magnificent as well. The last time I went there it cost five Euro already (which at the time I found outrageous). I was told that the latest was 8 Euro. Personally, at that stage I probably would have turned around rather than paying but then; I live here. It’s easy for me to say.

By pissing off people and making money at the same time the councillors felt a lot better (I guess) but not really satisfied. Also, it is difficult to justify such charges and especially when people start asking what they actually do with the money. Again the braniacs from Clare County Council (and probably some other people with an interest in making a quick bug) came together and worked out an infallible scheme: Build a visitor centre.

I guess we all agree that the one thing a natural wonder needs is thousands of tons of concrete and so Clare County Council went ahead and started building not only a visitor centre but also massive concrete paths and a concrete wall that not only protects visitors from falling down but also from actually seeing the cliffs. Well done lads!

Of course they wouldn’t use their own money for it so they got the EU and Failte Ireland to co-finance it under the National Development Plan. By 2006 they had completely ruined the once magnificent site and by 2007 the visitor centre opened.

There still was one piece missing. Parking fees are really cool but 8 Euro already sounds pretty steep and also they can easily be avoided by not driving there by car. If you are a greedy midget and you want to piss off as many people as possible just robbing motorists isn’t satisfying. They came up with the new plan to charge admission instead.

Since they didn’t just want to rip off people but also express what they thought of the public they decided to do this in the most insulting and offensive way imaginable. They announced that they will – and I quote – “simplify” the charges. This translates as: Dear public, we honestly believe that you are a bunch of idiots, too thick to call the simplest of bluffs and certainly too ignorant to simply go somewhere else. After all there are dozens of beautiful cliffs on the west coast of Ireland.

So in case you are a member of the public and still don’t know what they mean by “simplify”: From August 2010 instead of charging per car they will charge per head. A family of four therefore will no longer pay a very complicated 8 Euro for their vehicle but an easy 6 Euro per person. And since we are all idiots and too thick for basic math: that simplifies the charges from 8 to 24 Euro for the four people.

That is in fact so much easier I am surprised we don’t simplify other charges as well. For example; rather than paying our councillors per head we could pay them by their collective IQ. That would save a fortune. Or how about beating them with a stick (free of charge) for ruining this magnificent place?

I have loads of ideas for them but one thing is for sure. I will no longer recommend the Cliffs of Moher and I would actually advise people to NOT go there and instead send a strongly worded letter to Clare County Council and express their disgust over the destruction of this unique landmark!

To complain directly with the operators go here: http://www.cliffsofmoher.ie/ContactUs.aspx and/or to express how much you appreciate to be taken as a complete idiot send a letter/email to:

Clare County Council
New Road
Ennis
Co. Clare

Tel: +353 65 6821616
Email: info@clarecoco.ie

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