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Germany is „führerlos“

Posted by | Evil Kristos | October 9, 2013 | No Comments

As you may have heard, there was an election in Germany. Although utterly pointless – we all knew who is going to win this – we still went through with it.

To be honest, despite the odds I was looking forward to it. My last German election was Schröder running against Kohl, which is considered one of the toughest electoral battles in German history. A classic. Some people had to wait 18 years for the pleasure of seeing Kohl being send off. Others never even knew, that the position chancellor of Germany was up for a vote. All of their life Helmuth Kohl had been in that job. And he was crap at it. Despite what people say about him these days. When Schröder took over we did consider it a moment in history and in a good way.

The election campaign this year was a disappointment. Saying it was boring as f*ck would give it credit it does not deserve. The two big parties decided that a political program was not needed. What an insult. They were basically just showing their candidates in winning poses and with interchangeable buzzwords. They didn’t even try. The Pirates I would exclude here. They did try but had screwed up so badly early in the race that at that stage they were just wasting money.

To be fair; the CDU – despite having absolutely no political message at all – did a terrific job with their campaign (at least looking at the result). They didn’t even show the whole Angela Merkel, just her hands forming a diamond. I find it scary that they honestly thought that this was appropriate for an election campaign. I am aware that Angie – as we call her – doesn’t really have a plan or a vision. The Merkel diamond – this empty gesture – probably is what she and her party are all about: Nothing. But still! Show some respect!

They call her Mutti (mama) and that’s what she is. She is strict but of course never really mad at her own children (us the German people). She makes us (the German people) feel comfortable, warm, cozy and being looked after while at the same time scares the shit out of the neighbors.

Instead of giving directions she just waits where the majority goes and then shouts “Follow me” while running in that direction. That is why she is so dangerous and why Southern Europe – and rightfully so – is afraid of her. The crisis needs visions not turncoats.

A majority of German voters is either so disillusioned that they don’t care or so naive that they see it as her strength to have no political vision whatsoever. As long as Germany is winning many people probably don’t care.

When I say a majority by the way, I mean an almost absolute majority. She missed it by only a couple of seats. Considering that all the other parties relatively clearly stated that they are not interested in her job, this must be a bit disappointing for her.

Even worse, she lost her coalition partner. The FDP was voted out of the Bundestag first time in history. While I do find this entertaining it presents a problem for Angie. There are only 4 parties in the new Bundestag: CDU, SPD, Greens and Commies and none of the she particularly likes.

A big coalition is the most likely option but they would have an overwhelming majority, which is never a good idea. It would render opposition obsolete.

And if you look at it; technically a majority of Germany has voted left. Unfortunately neither Social Democrats (SPD) nor Green party fancy forming a coalition with the Communists. So one of the three has to swallow the bitter pill entering a coalition with Angie. The SPD when doing this 8 years ago lost almost a third of the vote coming out of the coalition, the FDP was kicked out of the Bundestag altogether. Would you fancy your chances with the Iron Lady?

As a result Germany currently has no government. There even is a possibility for a re-election. As a result Angie would probably get an absolute majority but the way I see it this would be good. Once there is no one else to blame people might realise how badly the last government sucked and that this is mainly the fault of our beloved chancellor.

Don’t get me wrong; I honestly believe that the Social Democrats suck even more. They think the rich (people with a job) should part with more money so the poor (people without a job) can have more. I’m no good with that idea at all. While I do have a job I don’t feel particularly rich. I get along and I do have to work hard for it. I should get credit for it not punishment. And this is what all the left parties get wrong. Even the people they do not want to tax higher – regular Joes like me – disagree with a higher income tax for the wealthy. It’s unfair.

Besides; a proposed higher income tax for the wealthy normally turns into a higher tax for the middle class while the really rich don’t pay anything. But that’s just a side note. The bottom line is, most people feel the country collects enough taxes. All the government has to do is not wasting it.

And for the Green Party; they have been in power before and the results were so disastrous that I honestly think, Mother Nature would not survive another green term. As far as I’m concerned the can go and hug trees somewhere else.

The Commies … at least they are entertaining. Of course they can promise what they want because they will never be in a position having to keep any of their promises, but at least they try. They do respect the voters expectation to be lied to during election campaign. My rule in such situations: Where a lie is appropriate and required at least have the courtesy of making an effort. Otherwise you insult the opposite side. From this perspective the commies did OK. Not that I’d vote for them but at least I felt respected.

So what’s left? Well nothing really. That’s the reason I was so disappointed by the campaigns. The German name for election campaign is Wahlkampf. It contains the word Kampf meaning fight. There was absolutely nothing fighty about the whole campaign. Boooooring and most disrespectful. They didn’t even come to my door. I would have loved to tell which hairy part of my body they can kiss. What a disgrace.

Being governed by a bunch of people I don’t care for … well I’m used to that. Not even getting a show for my money annoys me!

At least we are currently an anarchistic state; technically führerlos (without a leader). Hurray, even if it won’t last long.


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