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The best golfer of all times is: Kim Jong Il


Posted by | Evil Kristos | July 27, 2009 | 4 Comments

This week North Korean dictator and infamous wacko Kim Jong Il announced that in his first ever round of golf he scored an astonishing 11 hole-in-ones. And we thought we heard it all. The news was published by the North Korean department of information which obviously means two things: A) Nothing of any and let it be the faintest interest is happening in the world and B) the North Korean department of information really shouldn’t be called department of information but rather North Korean department of sycophants and court jesters.

To put Kim Jong Ils claim of 11 hole-in-ones in prospective; the chances to score two hole-in-ones in one round of golf is 1:67.000.000 meaning it is far more likely to win the jackpot in a lottery. Scoring 11 is probably more unlikely than to be killed by a Tyrannosaurus rex when they have been extinct 65 million years ago. You are more likely to be run over by a hamster in a monster truck or get a tip from a Scotsman.

The truth is that one has to be a “dear leader” in order to get anywhere near that score. Still I thought that bit of news was quite interesting. Does it mean Kim Jong Il has finally gone mad?

The quick answer is NO. The dear leader has not finally gone mad Kim Jong Il has gone mad a long, long time ago. You just have to look at his official biography. According to that his birth was foretold by a swallow and he was born at the rather holy Baekdu Mountains. His birth was – again according to the official biography – heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow and new star. Do you need any more proof? The man is a loony with a god complex. It’s a crying shame that a person that obviously is clinically insane can run a whole country to the ground.

11 hole-in-ones in his first ever round of golf; what on earth could possess someone to make such a ridiculous claim? What’s next? That it wasn’t Neil Armstrong who was the first man on the moon but the dear leader?

At least we learned something from this episode: They do have golf courses in North Korea. Quite frankly I’m surprised. North Korea is claiming to be a communist country and as far as sport goes golfing is pretty much as decadent as it gets. Shame on you evil dictator! What kind of communist are you?

Comments

4 Responses to “The best golfer of all times is: Kim Jong Il”

  1. Cornelius
    August 5th, 2009 @ 18:19

    Are you a professional journalist? You write very well.

  2. johnny
    August 7th, 2009 @ 05:54

    Hello. Thank you for this great info! Keep up the good job!

  3. teinby
    August 10th, 2009 @ 06:28

    thank you! I really liked this post!

  4. admin
    August 10th, 2009 @ 12:28

    Hi Cornelius. I’m not a professional journalist but I do write a lot. Thanks for your feedback. I appreciate it.

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